Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
After so many years
Been awhile that i last written something in this blog. Many years had passed and things changed so do i. I am actually stil surviving. lolz don't think tat anyone stil rem this especially my bf.
Wanted to express myself but realised i had no one to turn to tat y i decided to write here.
Not sure y, y m i angry w him. we r alright ytd.happily catching movie, having dinner, playing game tgt and even joking tgt but felt tat things changed aft i reached home. weird thinking had been flowing thru my mind. recalling things he said, telling me tat we shld catch a movie early coz he wanted to have early dinner n back home. but i was wrong he went out aft dropping me home. questions popping out frm my mind: "He wanted to send me home early coz he is meeting his frenz?" am i rite? or am i juz guess wrongly..? it really bothering me. Then today, asking him if there is any plan, replied no but end up having dinner, coffee w his frenz again...reason he will gave coz they got to meet clients after which. i really hated tat kind of feeling..really making me pissed and sad.
it seem like without me, he is living well..and i am bothering him or is he using me? wat is he treating me like now? but when i pushed for an answer things turn out differently? he will gave thousand of reasons tat i actually wrong. am i losing trust on him or i dun trust him long time ago?? y m i being so negative or m i seeking for something tat i last felt coz i no longer feel the passion for this relationship? feeling hurt n sad n even angry til tears drop.
Maybe i need attention frm someone frm him especially. if i throw my temper at him again, we will end up having a fight again. i had to control it..y m i thinking so much???? Cant i gave in..sometimes i really envy w ppl tat r loving. being held in his arm n feeling how impt u r in his life? is he doing tat or m i asking for more. being greedy??
pls take my anger and temper far away frm me. I hated it when they r there, making me an evil person which no one loves.=(
Wanted to express myself but realised i had no one to turn to tat y i decided to write here.
Not sure y, y m i angry w him. we r alright ytd.happily catching movie, having dinner, playing game tgt and even joking tgt but felt tat things changed aft i reached home. weird thinking had been flowing thru my mind. recalling things he said, telling me tat we shld catch a movie early coz he wanted to have early dinner n back home. but i was wrong he went out aft dropping me home. questions popping out frm my mind: "He wanted to send me home early coz he is meeting his frenz?" am i rite? or am i juz guess wrongly..? it really bothering me. Then today, asking him if there is any plan, replied no but end up having dinner, coffee w his frenz again...reason he will gave coz they got to meet clients after which. i really hated tat kind of feeling..really making me pissed and sad.
it seem like without me, he is living well..and i am bothering him or is he using me? wat is he treating me like now? but when i pushed for an answer things turn out differently? he will gave thousand of reasons tat i actually wrong. am i losing trust on him or i dun trust him long time ago?? y m i being so negative or m i seeking for something tat i last felt coz i no longer feel the passion for this relationship? feeling hurt n sad n even angry til tears drop.
Maybe i need attention frm someone frm him especially. if i throw my temper at him again, we will end up having a fight again. i had to control it..y m i thinking so much???? Cant i gave in..sometimes i really envy w ppl tat r loving. being held in his arm n feeling how impt u r in his life? is he doing tat or m i asking for more. being greedy??
pls take my anger and temper far away frm me. I hated it when they r there, making me an evil person which no one loves.=(
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